Sunny With An Occasional Chance of Rainfall!

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like “I love you”

No, this is not related to the song by RW. This is more to do with my ruminations over a recent experience.  Thanks to the wide reach of social networking I happened to get in touch with a girl I’d been to kindergarten with. That was over twenty years ago and even then we were not on such pally terms so as to swear life-long friendship. Therefore, the friend request received one fine morning was almost destined to be declined. Yet the fingers lingered, something stirred deep within, the mind pondered (you get the picture) and about ten minutes later, the request accepted. That she lived in the vicinity was an added incentive.

After a few days of hanging out online we decided to meet for coffee. “It would be fun to catch up and share memories of old times”, she added cheerfully. Er…”Houston we have a problem”, thought yours truly. The nervousness was justifiable since the extent of my shared past with her spanned learning the alphabets and Itsy Bitsy spider. We had gone to different schools and cities thereafter. In a moment of crisis this is how I imagined the meeting would go. Let’s call this new friend J to maintain anonymity.

Me- Hey! long time… How have you been?

J- Yeah I know! [Gives short description of life thus far]. What’s up with you?

Me- Oh nothing much [ volunteer an even shorter description of life thus far, I am tongue-tied that way]

J and I order our coffees. In a moment of optimism I super-size my Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino. Orders arrive and we settle into comfortable conversation.

J- Hey do you remember those days when Miss T. taught us the alphabets? It took me so long to sing L-M-N-O-P-Q the right way!

Me (smiling)- yes me too! I would always end up singing Elo-Melo-P-Q!!

J (all excited) – And, and do you remember the Itsy Bitsy spider?

Me- Yes, remember how Miss T. taught us the dance along with it and we performed on Annual day?

J- Umm no, I wasn’t part of it.

Me- Oh

J- Hey but the “Go-as-you-like” competition was great too! I was dressed as a pirate? What were you?

Me- Er, I wasn’t part of that competition.

This is that awkward moment when you have run out of things to say and your coffee can’t end soon enough!

Thankfully the actual experience wasn’t quite so horrific, in fact far from it. Though shared memories didn’t go beyond the aforementioned arachnid we did find plenty of other stuff to talk about. Soon it was time to leave. We made further plans of catching up and I was happy at the thought of having enjoyable company and who knows potential friendship too.

This is when she killed my thought bubble. How? Her exact words were ” See you, take care! I love you!” This is when my smile froze. What was I to say? That I loved her too? But I couldn’t right? Because I don’t! I have only just met her. Isn’t love reserved for people you really love and when you say it to them you mean it from deep within your heart? Is it really to be tossed around superficially or maybe confused with like? I don’t know. I changed school remember? Maybe I missed the memo.In the end I could only say “See you” and walk away hoping she did not notice the time lapse between her comment and my response.

What do you think? Has this happened to you too?